My SIL is in Labor!

It's all very exciting here, mum just called me to say that my bro and sis in law are at the hospital and she is having contractions...there having a little girl. I'm going to be an aunty!! fingers and toes crossed for them :)

We’re back in the game!

We started our Gonal F needles on Saturday so it’s all systems go for this month J I really don’t know what I’m feeling, I guess I’m excited that we are still in with a chance. I don’t want to get our hopes up if it’s not going to work. I’m trying to work on the attitude of ‘if it happens it happens, if not theres always next month’. If our attempts fail this time we are going to do a back to back cycle and go again next month. If we aren’t pregnant by Christmas Toodles wants to wait a few months…it’s really been hard on her too. Toodles has ended up getting a second job doing night fill to pay for all our extra expenses…have I told you all how much I love her! My brother and his gf’s baby is due this week…it’s just another reminder of what we don’t have. It’s just not fair…they are only 18 and didn’t even want a kid yet, I was the first person my brother came to when he was freaking out…to top it all of it was at my 21st b’day party. I guess no matter how hard you try it’s really just luck of the draw. It has been 3 and a half years since we first talked about a family and almost 2years since we started trying, I wonder if it will ever happen for us…at least age/time is on our side so at least I can be thankful for that.

Not this time.

It's been a while since i've been on here, we have known for about two weeks that we weren't pregnant...I just didn't feel like blogging about it. We will be trying in September and if all goes to plan we will find out if we are expecting or not 2 days before my brothers baby is due....I pray to god that it works next time I hate having to look at Toodles face everytime she finds out it hasn't worked, thats what makes me feel worse than anything. The bills are piling up while we are trying to pay for the vials and clinical costs...this is so not fair, and to top it all off Rudd denied the marriage rights amendment bill for gays and lesbians yesterday! What a jerk....i'm over it all, for the past 2 christmases we have said 'next christmas we will have a bubba or be pregnant', I don't want this to be the third christmas we say that...I want something to hope for and be excited about.

Sick :(

This is day two of being home sick with the flu. I love sick days but don't like the sick bit too much :( Not much to report on the pregnancy front..we have peed on a few sticks but all have shown up negative (yes I know it's still too early) I do have extreamly sore boobs and the nose of a sniffer dog lol, ok I developed this awesome sense of smell when I was on the fertillity drugs and even with the flu I can still smell (but can't taste anything..weird). We have blood tests on Friday so fingers crossed. Pinky and Bluey are at their father this week for school holidays so it's been pretty relaxing around here. Toodles and I will be going to see P!NK next Monday so really excited about that...we finally got around to booking our Hotel room yesterday but had to go to the next suburb as everything else has been booked out in advance, like two months in advance. Yay so excited!

Little Pinky

Backdated 30/6/09

The school councilor left a message for us yesterday to give her a call about Pinky . Apparently she is not going very well at school (which we already knew about) and they need to do an assessment on her to determine how high her needs really are. I feel bad for the her, but at least she’s in the right school if she does have a learning disability (they are a mixed school with handicap children and mainstream school children). We had Bluey’s interview last week and he is at the top of his class, apparently he and another little girl compete lol. His teacher said how he was a wonderful little boy and she could talk about him all day…..yes we were impressed J
Not much to report on the fostering side of things. They told her that they would definitely get back to us before the end of June so we just have to sit tight. We do have a lot of stuff going on in our lives at the moment with work, the kids and our insemination schedule. My Annual Team Building conference at Couran Cove is coming up so that’s something to get excited about J

Toodles Birthday weekend and Artificial Insemination

Backdated 26/6/09

On Thursday we had our first clinic appointments with the councilor and Dr. The councilor was very impressed with our knowledge and took down notes on what we were telling her (well we have been researching this for a while now!) She was lovely and I wouldn’t mind going back to see her again. Dr Carey sounded very keen to get started and pshyced us up for inseminating in 2 weeks, then we had our nurse appointment on Friday and she pretty much crushed those hopes. Poor Toodles looked like she wanted to punch her out. Turns out we have to wait for my blood tests to come back….oh and I have to give myself needles (apparently this gives us a bigger chance of twins, Toodles is very excited about this.). By this point I was starting to hate this chick. We will now be inseminating next month L
Toodles birthday was on Sunday so we went away to the Sunshine Coast for 2nights. Caloundra was very nice and we stayed in waterfront cabins until we were evacuated due to flooding and they moved us to Maroochydore. Sunday we drove 4 and a half hours to Millmerran to visit Toodles grandmothers grave (she hasn’t been back to visit since they buried her 7years ago). Toodles was very close to her as she was the only granddaughter so it was very emotional for her to go see her. The memorial park was lovely and we also visited grandfather Joe (who Lukas talks to) and Debbie (Toodles fathers sister who died when she was 1yr). We then stopped at a nice pub that we would definitely go back to. There’s just something about small towns that just feel so welcoming. We also stopped at the Big Pineapple for ice-cream and the Aussie world pub. It was such a great weekend that I must admit I’m sad to be back home L

The Insemination...now we wait

Fridays insemination didnt go as smooth as I would have liked, the Valium kicked in before I went in but once I was in that room it didn't help. We had a new doctor as ours was away on holidays but he was the nicest bloke and was very understanding of my anxiety about anyone touching my 'lady town'. I guess it didn't hurt that much but was more uncomfortable than anything else...I think I even bit poor toodles on the hand. I was actually still leaking the 'stuff' until last night which was odd as when we used DD it leaked out within an hour, I guess it's because it was squirted up so high this time. Sorry that was too much information..but this is supposed to be a baby blog so i'm sure when i'm preg I will be writting worse things lol. The dr said that 20 is a great age to have a baby so lets hope his right and all goes well :) Now we are on the 2ww rollercoaster again.....it feels good to be back in the game!